Hey look! It’s me!!

Typing!!

In my blog!!

I know there hasn’t been a lot of that lately, and that anything I have posted may or may not have been, arguably, substantial. I’m living my life, I’m just not taking the time to actually write about it. Which I am going to try to turn over a new leaf and correct.

Again.

Not that anyone ever promises to reopen a neglected blog.

Ever.

Okay, so anyhoo, that said, life has been really busy. I’m on loan for six months out of sales, on what is called the Fios Jeop Desk. In layman’s terms, this means that I take orders that need changing rightthisverysecond or fix ones that have something wrong with them, like wrong address or something else mildly important. I’ve been there a month and am loving the feeling of loving my job.

I also just completed my second course toward my bachelor’s degree. I don’t like school. If it weren’t for the stigma of being a dropout (again) I would probably quit because it’s nonsense. Bachelor’s degree programs at my college require group activities and projects, which I have already stated I feel is stupid because I’m taking online courses specifically because I don’t have time to rely on other people to do work. In my last class the final project was a PowerPoint presentation, which was frusterating because my teammates had no freaking clue how to use PowerPoint. This I find incredulous. I certainly don’t expect everyone to know how to use it, but I do expect students who had to complete several presentations before they earned their Associate’s degrees to have a firm grip on the fundamentals. My classes now are only five weeks long and I feel I could really take two at a time, except that I don’t have the patience to deal with two different learning teams at a time. As it goes right now I’m staggering my classes, taking a month off between each one. I didn’t actually plan this, but I took July off because we had multiple little trips planned and I didn’t want to worry about schoolwork, and I’m taking September off for our vacation to Canada.

So yes, I have been busy.

Today was my first day off by myself since I went on the Jeop Desk. I got up early to take the Azera in for an oil change, since it’s the car we’re taking on vacation. I was pleased that there was no wait at Grease Monkey and even more pleased when they accomplished the oil changing in under twenty minutes. I was less than pleased, however, when I walked out through the rain to my car and found that they’d left the driver’s side window down. Nice, guys. No, no, a little water never hurt anything, but that doesn’t mean I want today’s showers scattered all over my leather interior. Fail, Grease Monkey.

Other than that, today was pleasant. I got my hair cut (too short, by Paul’s standards apparently) and had a nice pedicure. I got some new clothes for our trip and am sort of ready to go back to work tomorrow.

After all, I’m actually going to a job I like.

On the off chance that anyone cares about what I’m reading or what I recommend, I am making a summer must-read list with some of my favorites. All books have made me abandon real life in order to sit and read for hours on end. Enjoy!

The Art of Racing in the Rain by Garth Stein. The story is told by lab terrier mix Enzo, who tells about his life with his master Denny, who risks his life savings to follow his dream of racing. The book has a happy ending (promise!) and really brings home the feeling of the bond between man and dog.

Leaving Unknown by Kerry Reichs. After Maeve Connolly gets fired from her job, she decides to load up her pet bird and drive from east coast to west, stopping in towns along the way with particularly unusual names. She breaks down in Unknown Arizona and by the time she can afford her car repairs, she’s developed relationships with the town’s quirky residents and longs to stay, but feels she must complete the trip she started and move on to L.A. I liked it not just because of what a different story it is, but also because Maeve’s bird is named Oliver, which made me think of my kitty (and if Oliver could talk, I bet his mouth would be every bit as foul as the bird’s).

Augusta, Gone by Martha Todd Dudman. This true story is incredibly heart-wrenching, even to me who does not have kids yet. Dudman writes about her teen daughter’s descent into drugs and overall crazy behavior, until she finally hits the breaking point and sends Augusta away to get help. Even though I was by no means as out of control as Augusta, it really gave me insight as to how my mom must have felt as she dealt with the more difficult parts of my adolescence.

Bitter Harvest by Ann Rule. This is another true story, a chilling account of Dr Debra Green and how she murdered two of her three children in a house fire in 1995 in Prairie Village, Kansas. Prior to writing about the fire itself, Rule writes about the troubled marriage of Green and Dr Mike Farrar, Green’s brilliant mind, and her childlike mental state despite a through-the-roof IQ. Not a light read, but gripping.

I’ll add to this as I read more. Happy reading!

When I was 19, I went shopping at the Ontario Mills Mall with my friend Jen. Among the stores we browsed was Skechers, where we fell in love with what we would deem our “shiiiiny shoes” (you have to draw it out when you say it). They were white sneakers with two shiny colored stripes on each side. Mine were blue, Jenn’s were gray. Of course, my shiiiny shoes are long dead, as I am murder on white sneakers.
But now, I have new ones.
Saturday was cold, rainy, and boring, so I found myself in the Lady Foot Locker at the Everett Mall. I was actually there because I’d glimpsed a pair of pink Adidas earlier in the week and was thinking I needed to own them. Much to my disappointment, the pink shoes I’d sought were not nearly as cute up close and I didn’t really want them.
And that’s when I spotted them….the shiiiiny shoes.
Adidas makes a very similar style of shoe as my old Skechers, but sports three colored stripes each side instead of two. They are called Adidas Superstars and I loved them in high school. But on Saturday in Foot Locker, I found the ONLY shiny silver ones I’d ever seen. I was thrilled. And they were on sale, so of course I just had to have them.
I love my new shiiiiny shoes. If I weren’t poor as all hell I would buy Jenn a pair so she could have shiiiny shoes again too.
 

A couple of weeks ago, I went to Washington’s Department of Licensing to get my driver’s license here. The DOL is jam-packed on Saturdays, so I arrived early to get a good spot in line. There were several people already in line ahead of me, so I joined the end of the line and settled in to wait.
The DOL is in a shopping center, so it has two sets of doors. The first set is like a grocery store, and slides open as long as there’s enough weight to trigger the automatic doors. The inner door has to be pushed open, and before business hours it’s locked. So people waiting for the office to open crowd into the space between the sliding doors and the locked door.
A large woman strode in, trailed by a tall, skinny teenage boy. She took cuts in line (which, to me, means death) and stood with her face practically shoved up against the locked door. I super hate people who cut in line, but I was on my best behavior and I didn’t say a word (although there was a time in my life when  I would have threatened to kick her until she died if she didn’t get her ass to the back of the line).
Not too far behind Line Cutter, a man with his young son came in. “This the end of the line?” the guy asked, gesturing toward me.
“There is no line, really. We’re all just standing around,” Line Cutter replied.
“Yeah….yeah, there really is a line,” muttered the girl in front of me. We shared a sigh followed by a sad snicker, as the man realized he’d better not push his way to the front too and instead chose to hang out by the first door.
His little boy quickly caught the attention of Line Cutter, who carried on a lively conversation with the child while we all listened. The kid was pretty cute and talkative. He showed Line Cutter the cowboy boots he was wearing and told her that he rode there in his parents’ van. “My son is going to get a van,” Line Cutter told the little boy. “After he gets his license today.”
The little boy didn’t care and continued to carry on mindless chit chat with Line Cutter, as she watched her son. I watched him, too. He was trying his best to look like he didn’t know her. “You’re such a talkative little guy,” Line Cutter said to the little boy. “My son used to be talkative too, until he became a sulky teenager.” She looked up at her son. “You don’t talk anymore, now that you’re a teenager,” she practically shouted at him.
Dude, he’s only putting up with this shit cuz she’s getting him a car, I thought. If Line Cutter was found dead, I’d figure her son was behind the crime and not blame him one little bit.
Of course, if she’s as fucking annoying in every social setting as she was at the Department of Licensing, there might be quite a few people who want her dead.

Scene: My living room. I am on the couch, watching Keith Olbermann and, uh, working very hard on important projects (read: updating my Facebook status). Paul is in the kitchen, making dinner.

All of a sudden, Keith stops talking and silence fills the room. I glance up from the computer screen. In place of my beloved “Countdown” show is a Dish Network popup, asking me to rent “Zombieland” for $6.99. Since I have absolutely no techical expertise whatsoever, I do the only thing there really is to be done, and yell for Paul to fix it. He does, and I am back to my news and once again happy. I don’t know why “Zombieland” decided to interrupt my programming, but I chalk it up to a system glich and shrug it off.

That is, until the tv began rapidly changing channels.

By itself.

Paul is next to me now, and we’re munching homemade pizza and chasing “Countdown” with Rachel Maddow’s interview with a sheriff from Arizona. The show suddenly stops, and the tv scrolls methodically through the available channels.

I look at Paul. He looks back at me. I’m totally confused. “Is it broken?” I ask.

He doesn’t respond. I continue watching the tv freak out. “It’s possessed,” I finally diagnose. Damn zombies and their land. They must have had something to do with this. How, I wonder, does one go about killing a zombie? A stake through the heart? No, wait, that’s vampires. Throw water on them? Nah, that’s the Wicked Witch. Hmmm, how to kill a zombie? Perhaps….

“GET OFF THE REMOTE!” Paul exclaims.

While I was off in la la land, Paul has gotten up and discovered Oliver sitting on the tv stand, and it turns out, also on the tv remote. At Paul’s command he lazily jumps down, and the tv stops scrolling.

Well, it could have been zombies.

In Washington, sunny days are rare. I appreciate them more.

It’s been awhile since I’ve had a chance to write anything. April 2nd was my last day working in Victorville, and on April 3rd the movers showed up to load up my house and get the Penske ready to drive up to the Northwest. I admit, the last couple of days were really hard for me. I second-guessed my decision to leave my beautiful house, my family, and my friends. I felt that there was a possibility that I was completely crazy.

Easter Sunday, we woke up incredibly early to get on the road. We drove for hours, finally stopping in Redding CA because I5 North was closed due to snow and accidents. This happened only AFTER we had heard a weather advisory that we could only go through the Siskyou mountain range if we had chains and purchased such chains for both the Penske and the Focus. As I walked out of Kragen with the chains in hand, the weather report was updated to advise that the freeway was closed and there would be no getting through.
Damn non refundable chains.

We made it to Marysville the following night. Paul and his dad were miserably sore from sitting in the Penske all that time. I was tired after not getting much sleep the past week. We dropped the kitties off at the new townhome and got rooms at the Medallion Hotel across the freeway for the night.

My first impression of the townhome was that it was cute, for an apartment, and a hell of a lot smaller than the space Paul and I are used to. I instantly missed my house and even now get a little misty eyed when I think of how pretty it was. I wish we could’ve sold our house. I wish we could buy a house up here. But I really don’t think about that much. There are good things about the new place. It’s bright and has a lot of big windows. The bathtubs are not that deep, but they are long and I can stretch out and get nice and warm in bubble baths.
Once we got the furniture into the new townhome the following day, it began feeling more like home. Our couch, love seat, and reclining chair all fit in the living room, which we hadn’t expected. The place doesn’t feel nearly as cramped as I had worried.

The first night in the new house, I woke up feeling extremely sick and had to crawl to the bathroom to throw up. I spent some time on the bathroom floor, then finally felt I was done being sick and crept back to bed. I shook Paul awake so he could bring me some water.
I spent the next day in bed, too achy to move around much. My stomach didn’t feel all that queasy, but I was in terrible pain and couldn’t relieve it. I ran myself a hot bath and sat in the tub, head resting on the wall of the shower, silently willing the ache away.

It took a few days for me to truly feel better. I was beginning to get cranky, having been cooped up in the house, mostly by myself. On Saturday morning I dragged myself to the DOL (Department of Licensing) to get my driver’s license switched over to Washington state. Not only would they not accept my lease as proof of Washington residency (which I find to be ridiculous, by the way). I have to go back to DOL once I have a phone bill to prove I live in Washington (apparently, phone bills mean you live somewhere, leases do not).

Monday I started work in the Everett CSSC. I was nervous about going. What if I didn’t fit in? What if they didn’t really have my transfer information after all, and there was a mistake and I have to go back to California (yes, this one is extreme)? But none of that happened. My new coworkers turned out to be nice and welcoming. None of my login id’s worked, so I was offline doing odd jobs.

Today, I was actually online taking calls. The whole day was just great. The sun was shining, which I love in Washington because it doesn’t happen very often and feels special. The weather was warm, a new friend introduced me to a great teriyaki place for lunch, and I did not have a single call that made me feel anxious or stressed. When I got home, Paul and I decided to grab dinner at Wendy’s and explore.

We ended up at Kayak Point, a beach access area near our house that sits on Puget Sound. It was incredibly beautiful and I loved it. I love this beautiful place I’m living in. I am glad we came here, I am glad that we took this risk even though for a little while there I was scared and didn’t know if this would be the best thing to do.

I am happy here.

Yesterday, I unhooked the tv.

Well, let me back up there. I didn’t simply unhook the tv. See, my television is a massive flat-screen Sony that Paul had mounted above the fireplace. He had drilled holes in the wall, running cables through into our bedroom closet on the other side of said wall so that viewers in the living room would not be distracted by wires. Next to the fireplace is a skinny alcove, which Paul had custom-built shelves for. On these shelves (until recently) our dvd player, satellite receiver, Apple tv, and audio receiver sat quite comfortably. He’d drilled holes in the wall behind them too, connecting everything in our closet. Then he’d built a large panel for the closet to hide everything and voila! we had a beautiful living room settup.

When it came time to undo all this, it was necessary to have people on either side of the wall, one in the living room and one in the closet, to pull out all the wiring and disconnect everything. Then it took my mom, brother, sister, and I to get the tv down off the wall mount. That thing is very, very heavy.

All this work is the reason that I am now tv deprived. My bed is also dismantled, leaving me to sleep on a mattress and box spring resting on the floor in my guest room. It wasn’t actually so bad, it was just odd sleeping that low to the ground in a room I’m not familiar with sleeping in. My once super-comfy house is now a maze of boxes and random pieces that used to be furniture.

I wake up this morning with a stuffy nose and achy body. Perhaps this is a combination of reactions to the hard work I did yesterday (thank goodness for family and friends that come over to help!) and the suddenly-freezing weather we’re having. Over the last two weeks I’ve joked that So Cal is trying to convince me to stay by being absolutely gorgeous, sunny, and warm. The flowers are in bloom and everything looks all pretty and spring like. But yesterday, a cold front was blown in by an icy wind. Certain areas of the High Desert got snow and it was altogether NOT WARM. I had slept under three layers of blankies, in my green flannel froggie jammies (sexy, no?).

I’m tired and blah and I don’t wanna go to work. Work bad. Work make me do stuff. Don’t like work. Want to sleep.

In my room, the mattress is leaned up against the wall and the various pieces of the bedframe are stacked. The cats take great pleasure in climbing up the mattress and perching at the top. I try to catch them at it so I can take a video of them doing it, but they are apparently camera shy. If further attempts prove more successful, I’ll upload the video.

Sighing, I get up and drag myself to the bathroom to get ready for work. Yaaay, work!

I just need to survive the day.

So much stress, so little booze.

The house is pretty well packed, I still have no transfer date, and we are evacuating Victorville on Saturday morning. Which means that there’s a distinct possibility I’ll get stuck flying back here, moving in with my mom temporarily, and waiting it out in hopes that I am finally transferred and allowed to move back in with my boyfriend and cats.

The problem with all this moving and packing is that I’m sorely deprived of little luxuries like, say, metal eating utensils and cups not made out of paper.

Today I’ve had an especially bad day, what with the full moon turning people’s already pea-sized brains inside out. They’re howling like wolves, and they’re calling the phone company to act out their animal impulses. In the course of eight hours I’m screamed at, cursed upon, and even threatened by a man in Texas. He is apparently going to take me to court because someone else wrote an order on his account and didn’t disclose the details. And he says I’m not going to be allowed a lawyer.

Hate. Hate. HATE. TEXAS. Mexico, would you like Texas back? I will pay you handsomly should you take it off the United States’ hands. Cash bonus if you put George Bush in a white hick internment camp.

My friend Barbara gets chewed out because she doesn’t speak French. This is a new one. Normally we’re given a hard time for not speaking Spanish, but not French. “For next time,” I tell her, “you can say this: Bonjour, douchebag.” I’m pretty sure “douchebag” is a French word, anyway.

I’m desperate for consolation and finally find it in a Xanax and an old bottle of expensive champagne that Paul and I got when we moved into our house. I have no champagne flutes to pour the bubbly into, so I sip daintily from a juice glass as I pack up a few random leftover items in the bathrooms and laundry room. The cats “help” by getting in all the cabinets to make sure I haven’t forgotten anything.

I glance out the window. The beautiful, warm spring weather is fading fast, leaving me with cold and windy March weather. The weather report on msn calls for rain tomorrow. I like rain. That’s one of the reasons I know I’ll be content in Washington.

If I ever get to move there.

I am hoping to hear something soon. I hate that I can’t control my own fate, that where I live and who I’m with is in the hands of my employer.

I yawn, and realize it’s nearly eleven so I head for bed. The kitties rush into the bedroom with me and pile around me as I settle under the covers. I can’t help but smile as they begin a chorus of purrs and settle in for the night.

The clouds roll in, hiding the bright full moon. Perhaps this will deflect the crazies as well?

I can only hope.

Dear High Desert Christian (HDC) Church Members:

Many times over the last two years, I have passed by your church on my way to various places. Whenever I am doing so as your congregation is letting out, I have noticed that you will dart in front of traffic on foot on your way to the parking lot across the street, and that you will screech out of the parking lot and into incoming traffic at alarming speeds, without heed to traffic laws, or quite frankly, laws of physics. More than one object cannot occupy a space at one time.

I do not understand your eagerness to leave the church. Is it that services were horrid and you are running at top speed to escape? (This I could actually understand and probably be quite forgiving of.) Or is it that you are just feeling so close to Jesus, that you are attempting to involve me in a traffic accident, thus killing yourselves (and possibly me) so that you can join him? This I do not condone. If you’re going to join the Lord, please do so by swallowing pills as it is the only form of suicide I can think of that does not potentially render someone else grief-stricken (jumping off bridge, freeway overpass, etc.) or make a mess (shooting oneself in head/face/throat, slitting wrists, etc.).

Or perhaps, you’re all a bunch of holier-than-thou douchebags who think everyone else should just get out of the way, because you have Jesus on board or your car may be unmanned should rapture occur or whatever your stupid bumper stickers say.

Whatever the reason for your poor driving while leaving church, I would like to request that you please slow down, follow simple traffic rules like stop and yield, and stop running in front of my car on your way across the street. Because quite frankly, if any of you do anything to scratch, dent, or otherwise do bodily harm to my beautiful luxury sedan, I will fucking cut you.

Thank you for your attention to this matter.

Veronica

Today was one of those days when I just wish I could have stayed in bed.

First of all, the wind was absolutely howling outside when I woke up, promising a day of cold weather and bad hair. My alarm roused me from a dream that was particularly odd. In the dream, I was waking up to my alarm clock (yes, weird), only in the dream, I got up and realized that Paul was home with me. This led to some healthy boyfriend-missing, and waking up and seeing that he is really still gone didn’t do great things for my mood. Yes, I’ll see him in a week. Right now I’m just very stressed and overwhelmed, and wish like hell that he could be here with me.

Sigh.

Paul gets the keys to our new place tonight and although he is still happy with the place, he is less happy with the amount of deposits we must pay and the $100 fee to install the garage door opener (and, yes, it IS out of the question that I will be opening the door myself, sans opener). He texts me to let me know about this but I’m out with friends (former union stewards), and we’re at Chili’s drinking tequila and reminiscing and laughing. I needed a night out soooo badly. I need to be away from packing and boxes and stress.

I’ve been in a grumpy mood the last two days and don’t see it improving, as I have to work tomorrow morning (which, yes, is Saturday) and I really don’t wanna. I have been medicating myself with cheeseburgers, french fries, and artichoke dip to deal with my grouchiness and I fear that my indulgences will catch up with me. I’m tired of talking about our move, tired of being asked if I have a transfer date, tired of being out of the loop on contract negotiations because I’m leaving. After all, I’m still an active union steward. It hurts my feelings that the union could drop me so quickly, and not care about my dedication both past and present. I’m not walking away, I’m saying that I’ll work my ass off to the very end.

Friends, however, have expressed both happiness for me that I’m leaving and sadness that I’ll be away from them. Friends make me feel normal again, and make me feel valued. I have amazing friends.

I want to be moved so that my stress level will go down. For right now, though, all I really want is to curl up in my nice warm cozy bed and not wake up for several hours.

Good night, everyone. More updates to follow.