A few years ago, I had a coworker that everyone thought was the nicest person. And indeed, she was bubbly, upbeat, and social. Despite those things, I couldn’t stand her. Nearly every time I saw her, she’d exclaim, “You just don’t look old enough to be working here! You look like you’re twelve!”
Hearing over and over that I looked like I was twelve years old was NOT what I wanted to hear when I was actually in my mid-twenties, and I was offended every single time she said it. Every time I had to hear her gush over the fact that I looked like a middle-school aged child, I would think to myself, “Well, you look so old, I can’t believe YOU still work here! They let you leave the assisted living facility every day to go to the office?”  (She actually didn’t look especially haggard or anything, I just thought those things because I was feeling snarky.) I never said any of it out loud. Instead I went home and stared at my reflection in the mirror and cursed genetics for giving me a baby face and little boobs. It seemed extremely unfair that at a time in my life when I wanted desperately to be perceived as a beautiful, successful woman, that all people saw when they looked at me was a kid.
I have no doubt that the woman who said those things to me thought that she was somehow being complimentary, or at the very least, didn’t realize that what she was saying was harmful. But what she said was burned into my brain, and it did horrible things to my self-image. It baffled me that it was okay to tell a young woman that she still resembles a child, all while knowing that if I had retorted that SHE looked like she had one foot in the grave and the other on a banana peel, that it would have been horrific and unacceptable. Polite people don’t generally walk up to a woman and say to her, “Wow, you look SO old!” And yet telling me I look like a pre-teen doesn’t shock or horrify anyone.
Well, anyone but me.
Over time, the self-consciousness I felt after repeatedly being told I looked like I was twelve subsided, especially after I moved away and more or less forgot about that thoughtless coworker. In fact, I hadn’t thought of her in years, until last week when a friend jokingly called me a ‘skinny bitch’. That person was teasing, and we have a relationship where we CAN joke like that without either of us getting offended. But it got me thinking about how it’s seemingly acceptable to call someone ‘skinny’, but by contrast it’s rude to call someone fat.
Personally, I hate being called skinny, because I am not and I do not strive to BE skinny. The word ‘skinny’ in this context means “very lean or thin, emaciated”. Well, I am none of those things, and have no desire to be. I know people that really and truly are skinny, and they hate it. Now, before you think to yourself, damn, wish I had THAT problem!, remind  yourself that these people struggle with their weight just as much as heavier people do. Whether you are fighting to lose unwanted weight or gain pounds you only wish you had, it sucks to feel uncomfortable in your own skin. The difference is, somehow ‘skinny’ is perceived as something to be coveted, and therefore it’s okay to call someone skinny. And I think that’s also why it was okay for my former coworker to tell me how young I looked, but it would not be okay for me to tell her she looked old. Looking young is something that some women strive for, so maybe in her head, I was lucky.
Perhaps because I never told my coworker that she was hurting my feelings by telling me how young I looked, I did myself a disservice and suffered needlessly. It’s not that I’ve ever been shy about telling people what I think, but I could never figure out a way to bring it up or call her on it without sounding like a royal bitch. When it comes to being called skinny,  I’ve just said something along the lines of, “Ugh, I hate being called that!” That stops people short. They think ‘skinny’ is a compliment. But the nice thing is, more often than not, they ask me why I hate it and I explain, and then they stop. A few think they’re comedians and they continue to do it, and now I just avoid them or shoot them mean fuck-you looks.
I guess my point is that we all have our insecurities, and commenting on someone’s size or age just never seems like a good idea to me. Even if you mean for a comment on one of those subjects as a compliment, it may not be taken that way, and it could do more harm than good. If you want to pay someone a compliment, there are better ways to go about it. My rule of thumb is that I save compliments for when I genuinely mean what I’m saying, and I try to steer away from things that might point out an insecurity and stick to the staples like, “You look amazing today”. At Zumba, I continually find myself amazed at how fit some of my friends are, and I’ll tell them so.
And as always, remember: if you can’t say something nice, then don’t say anything at all.

Today I’m absolutely exhausted, but it’s worth a Monday of being tired because I had an amazing Sunday! It started with my first-ever Skype session with my wonderful friend Marcie, who moved from the US to Ecuador about the time that I moved from California to Washington. Although we’ve exchanged Facebook messages, there’s just nothing like being able to talk to one another. I was very excited to get to talk to her, and to hear about her stories of building a life in a new country! Thus far in life my international travel has been very limited, but I am definitely adding Ecuador to the list of my must-see places.
For lunch, I met my friend Jamie at Anthony’s Homeport in Everett. I’ve mentioned Anthony’s on my blog before, because it is one of my very favorite places to eat. I’d never been there at lunchtime on a Sunday before, and Jamie and I were happy to find that they were serving Sunday brunch. We enjoyed fresh fruit and coffee cake, and of course wonderful fish! After we ate, we took a walk down on the dock of the guest moorage. It was a rather gray day, but the air was fresh and had that wonderful saltwater scent (one of my favorite smells in the whole world!). For both of us, being there was just one of many affirmations that we are living in our happy place. I love that Jamie loves being in the Northwest as much as I do! We reached the end of the dock and turned around to go back, just in time to see a seal swimming along next to the dock. Jamie was quicker than me and was able to snap some photos of our new friend before he disappeared under the water.
 

 
The evening was just as good as the day, because Paul and I got to see my favorite singing artist, Pink, perform at the Key Arena! I’ve loved Pink’s music since I was in high school. As I got older, I could relate more and more to her lyrics, and also to her as a person. When I read her June 2010 interview for Cosmo magazine, I was blown away not just by how she rose to success, but also the candid way she talked about her relationship strengths and weaknesses, and how she had improved herself as a person. She inspired me so much. And last night, I became inspired by her in a whole new way as she performed skilled acrobatics while singing her songs. Seeing how talented she was, and how athletic, really impressed me. I am soooo happy that we got to go to the show!

Last weekend a group of Zumba friends and I got together for a 50’s-themed benefit. My instructor and friend Nancy is heading to the Philippines next year on a medical missions trip, and proceeds from the benefit will be used to help her get there and to provide supplies for the trip. What could be better than a fun night out to benefit a worthy cause?
I cannot express how much I love my Zumba family. Not only do we work out together two nights a week, but we are truly close friends that take care of each other – and love to have fun together!

Dressed in our best 50’s attire, a large group of us gathered at a Chinese restaurant in Everett for pictures, dinner, and karaoke. I got to know a couple of other women from class better and was psyched to have some new friends. I also brought my friend Jamie with me. She’s new in town and attended her first Zumba class last week, and everyone welcomed her into the group and chatted with her as if they’d known her for ages!

Karaoke with my Zumba friends is both fun and a workout, because – not surprisingly – we all love to dance! So we like to choose songs to sing that the group can dance to. My friend Carla and I sang our hearts out to Michael Jackson’s ‘Thriller’, which we chose because we’re learning a Zumba routine for it in class. We may not have been the best singers of the night, but I don’t care because we enjoyed every second!
It’s been three years since I went to my first Zumba class, and I think that the experience has been one of the best parts of moving to the Northwest. I love Nancy, I love all my friends at Zumba, and I love that I can bring friends to the class and they are accepted right away into our Zumba family!
Want to join me at Zumba? Visit www.zumbachangeslives.com for more information on dates, times, and class locations!

Happy October!. Here in Washington, the weather literally jumped from warm summer weather to rainy autumn weather over a weekend. I’m now trading my sandals for boots and my iced lattes for extra hot ones.  I can’t believe September, and summer, have already passed us by. Since September was an especially busy month for me, it’s no surprise that it seemed to go by in a blur. Here are some of my highlights from the month:
I Got to See Family
In September I got to enjoy lots of visits with family, which is always special to me since my closest relatives live about three hours away. Right after Labor Day, Paul’s parents drove up from Southern California to visit with us for a week. We had lots of fun adventures, including going to a Mariners game and visiting the Chihuly Garden and Glass Exhibit at Seattle Center. We also ate far too much good food!

The weekend after Paul’s parents left, I flew to Las Vegas to meet up with my parents and my cousin Melanie and her family for Melanie’s birthday. We had a great time! Mom, Dad, and I stayed at the Silverton Hotel. I remember going to the Silverton as a kid (they had a nice campground, and since we usually had a motorhome to stay in when we went to Vegas, it was a lot more convenient to camp than it was to get a hotel room), and I remembered the hotel as being slightly outdated and a little dingy. However, it’s gone through an overhaul and is now a really nice place to stay! The room was big and comfortable, the casino was updated and didn’t smell smokey at all (one of my biggest gripes in a casino is that I hate when the smell of cigarettes hangs in the air), and the hotel boasted a very nice cafe and buffet. If you’re okay with staying off the strip, I’d definitely recommend the Silverton.
 

The weekend in Vegas was great. I hadn’t seen my parents since July, so it was really great to have a whole weekend with them! And we had a great time hanging out with my cousins. We all went to see Raiding the Rock Vault, which is a show at the Las Vegas Hilton, hung by the pool, and checked out Fremont Street (it’s cool, but a little bit too loud and crazy for me hehe). The whole weekend, the weather was blissfully sunny and warm – it was a little bit of a shock when my plane touched down in Bellingham and I stepped out of the airport terminal into the windy, cold, rainy weather!
I Had a Blonde Moment
Okay, I know, it seems like I just posted a rave review about getting my hair colored red. And yet, I just wasn’t feeling it. Sigh. The look on my poor stylist’s face when I plunked down in her chair and announced that I wanted my blonde hair back was one of pain. But she put a smile on her face, resisted any urge she might have had to kick me (I wouldn’t really have blamed her if she had), and set to work foiling my hair so that she could get me back to blonde without first turning my hair orange. As usual, she did a fabulous job, and I’d like to give a heartfelt shoutout to Savvy Hair Studio in Marysville for always doing an amazing job. I will continue to go there until they wise up and refuse me for being such an indecisive pain in the ass when it comes to my hair! (And a quick PS: if you’re going to put your stylist through coloring/cutting/styling hell, tip them generously. I always do.)
I Found New Products I Love
I don’t think I’ve actually ever mentioned it in my blog before, but I am a makeup fiend. I love trying new products and I literally have three makeup bags stuffed full of different stuff. Now, that said, I’m desperately cheap, so most of my stuff is either drugstore fare or something discounted that I found online.
For my face, I picked up a bottle of Lorac Oil-Free Neutralizer for the very reasonable price of $10. The description of the product says that you can mix it with your foundation to reduce redness, but what compelled me to make the purchase was a review I read on Anything You Can Buy I Can Buy Cheaper stating that the product also did great things to refine the writer’s pores. So I gave it a shot, and was not disappointed in the great finished look that the neutralizer gives to my skin. The product description says to mix it with your foundation, but I just put it on first and then apply foundation over it, which seems to be working out fine so far.
The other product I fell in love with in September was actually also a face product, and I got it on the recommendation from Paul’s mom. I had run out of facial cleanser, and she told me she swears by Neutrogena’s Pore Refining Facial Cleanser. My requirements were simple: I wanted something that didn’t cost a bunch of money (I got this at Target for $7.50) and would help keep my face clear and free of breakouts (so far, so good!). I love, love, love this product and will definitely buy it again!
I Scored Some Great Deals
When it comes to my clothes, I am willing to pay more for higher quality. That doesn’t mean that I don’t love a good deal though! I’ve never really had much luck in thrift stores when I tried to buy things secondhand, and had resigned myself to paying store prices. However, I recently discovered a website called Poshmark, which is basically an online marketplace where you can list and sell items from your own closet (dresses, shoes, bags, etc.) and buy items out of the closets of others. The thing that I have grown to love about this site is that I can find name-brand items that have been very well taken care of for bargain prices. I’ve scored a couple of really cute dresses for under $20 apiece, and a great Coach bag for $30 that came to me in like-new condition. I’ve also gotten three pairs of shorts for our upcoming trip to Hawaii in January, for a super low price of $5 each!
Yes, September was a good month!

Over the weekend, the weather turned windy, cold, and stormy. As the rain beat on my windows, I looked in the direction of my KitchenAid mixer and felt a compelling urge to spend my afternoon baking cookies. I had all the ingredients for one of my favorite recipes, Mint Chocolate Cookies, so I decided that I would make those since they are tasty and baking them didn’t require me to first go out and buy supplies (note to self: stock up on baking supplies now that the weather is going to be cold and this urge is going to strike me on random Saturday afternoons).
I like this recipe because it’s extremely easy and yet absolutely delicious. I am a huge fan of all things mint and chocolate, so these cookies combine those tastes into one tasty treat.
To create Mint Chocolate Cookies, you’ll need:
 
2 3/4 cup flour
1 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
1 cup unsalted butter (at room temperature)
1 1/2 cup sugar
1 egg
1 tsp mint extract
15-20 drops green food coloring
1 bag of Andes mints (chopped)

 
Preheat oven 375 degrees.  Sift the dry ingredients (flour, baking soda, baking powder and salt) together and set aside.
 

 
Unwrap and chop your Andes mints. If you have little minions (aka children), this is the perfect part to have them help with.
 

 
In a large bowl (I did this part directly into my mixer’s bowl), cream together  the butter and sugar until smooth. Beat in egg and mint extract. Gradually  blend in the dry ingredients. Add green food coloring and mix until even colored.  Last, but not least, fold in the chopped Andes mints.
Roll rounded teaspoonfuls of dough into  balls (you may need to shape with your hands), flatten, and place onto ungreased cookie sheets. Bake for 8-10 minutes.
 


 
And now I leave you with the hardest part….not eating every single cookie in one sitting!
 
 
Original recipe can be viewed at http://craftyc0rn3r.blogspot.com/2012/09/mint-chocolate-cookies.html.

Sunday was my ten-year anniversary with the phone company. In some ways it feels that the last ten years have just flown by, but then on the other hand, they have been a journey, a long road of my evolution from a 19-year-old taking a job just to have full-time employment to a 29-year-old with a family and a career.
The first time I walked into the directory assistance (otherwise known as 411) call center, I had no idea what to expect. My personal life was in chaos: I had gotten separated and moved back in with my parents, I was broke, and I had no idea what the future held. I took the job because it paid more than my last job as a grocery store cashier. What I didn’t plan on was sticking around long enough for the job to turn into a career, or to meet people that are still in my life today – good friends, including my best friend forever and ever, Keri, and of course Paul, the man who I would go on to spend almost a decade of my life with. No, I didn’t plan any of that, but I am so fortunate that it all happened. And today, I thought it would be appropriate to reflect back on my career thus far.
At first, working in 411 was challenging. I mastered the job itself fairly quickly. In all honesty, there isn’t that much to it – you search a directory using key words to find listings. I was in training for two weeks to learn the most effective searching techniques, and then I was on my own. The hard part was that for about the first year that I worked there, my schedule was erratic and demanding. The call center was busy all the time, so we were scheduled for six-day weeks. Since the center was open seven days a week, I would routinely be scheduled for Monday through Saturday one week, followed by Sunday through Friday the following week….meaning that I was working twelve days straight with no day off. And the shifts themselves were split shifts, which meant I’d go in for four hours in the morning, have a three to four hour break in the middle, and then go back for another four hours of work at night. Eventually I couldn’t take it anymore, and when I started dating Paul I switched to a night shift so that I could avoid split shifts. But it got better, and gradually the overtime was reduced. The simplicity of the work left me bored most days, but I had a very encouraging boss (thank you, Josh!) who supported me and helped me to find a place in the center’s leadership program, where I got to help out with training new hire classes and schedule management. I even helped out with training a whole new computer system when the center upgraded to a new platform.
I’d made a good start in 411, but after a couple of years at it, I was ready to move on to different things. In the spring of 2006, I applied for a transfer to the sales and billing center, known as the CSSC. I interviewed and was offered a position there, and my training started on May 1st.  I grew closer to the other people in my training class. The CSSC was different from 411. It was like a little family. My trainer, Diane, was absolutely fabulous and to this day I adore her. I graduated from training on my birthday of that year.
 

 
My Graduating Class, July 14, 2006
In the beginning, I had a lot of success in the CSSC even though I was never much of a salesperson. In 2007 I won multiple sales awards, including Diamond Club for being one of the top salespeople for the year. On Valentine’s Day, 2008, I received the award, and then was whisked away in a limo for a celebratory lunch. It was one of the coolest career experiences I’ve ever had to date.
 

 
Me in the sales center, circa 2009
After that, I didn’t really have the kind of success that I’d had in 2007, in part because I decided to become a union steward. This meant that I was in meetings and away from the phones, and subsequently did not make impressive sales numbers. Whether or not I was a top seller, my coaches – first Kris, and then Davena and Roo – were very supportive and encouraging of everything I did, including when I applied for a transfer from California to Washington. The transfer was approved, and on April 12, 2010, I started my first day at the CSSC in Washington.
This was a big change for me, career-wise. I had known that the Northwest was being sold from one company to another, so my employer was going to change in July of 2010. But what I wasn’t prepared for was that I would be exposed to opportunities I never could have dreamed of in Washington. To be honest, by the time I started in Everett, I was beyond burned out on the sales position. I didn’t like the aggressive sales tactics, the constant badgering to perform, the monitoring of my calls, my bathroom breaks, EVERYTHING. I was sick of being on the leash that was my headset. And just when I had about had enough and was beginning to think of jumping ship, I was brought onto a six-month special project known as the Jeopardy Desk.
Basically, I was given an offline position, away from sales, in which I assisted in making sure that orders for services actually made it to the point that they were installed. It was August 2010, and the new company was just getting its feet wet in the Northwest. The company assembled a group of technicians, sales representatives, technical support reps, and contractors to make reminder calls to customers who had pending installations. The whole idea was to make sure that orders were written correctly and made it through installation. If a customer wanted to make changes once the tech got to their house, the tech would call my group and we would make the requested adjustments to the order. If an order was missed, we called to reschedule. Those of us that worked on the Jeop Desk became a close-knit group, and we had a lot of fun together.

 
The Jeop Desk, Halloween 2010
I absolutely loved my job on the Jeop Desk, and I learned so much during that special project. But I had known from the beginning that there was an expiration date on my happiness, a date when I would have to go back to what I now viewed as the drudgery of being on the phones, selling all day. Not wanting it to end, we began campaigning to make the Jeop Desk a permanent position. My coworker Bob and I fought especially hard, and although we didn’t succeed at saving the Jeop Desk, we did get ourselves noticed, and one morning I got a call at home from Doug, the man who would become my boss, offering me a job on his newly-forming Customer Relations team. He explained that he had been offered the new job as manager of Customer Relations, that he was assembling a team, and that he would like me to come to work for him. After I calmly told him that I was honored and would absolutely accept, I hung up the phone and jumped up and down out of pure excitement and happiness. And so, on April 1st, 2011, I joined the work group that I am now with.

Everett Customer Relations
I’ve been in my current position for about two and a half years now, and I love it. Most days, I can expect to come to work and learn something new. My coworkers are some of the best people I know, and even though we spend our days addressing complaints, we have fun together and the atmosphere is generally light and fun.
Although I’ve moved around to different departments in the past, I truly feel like I’ve found my niche in this position and have no plans of going anywhere else. With any luck, I’ll be able to post an update in another ten years.

We all have our own interpretations of what success is, and where we will need to be in our lives in order to declare achievement of it. For some, success may be a desired career, or for others, a beautiful family or nice house. No matter what our idea of success, we will spend a lifetime chasing it, hoping to achieve it and bask in it. We will make goals for ourselves that are centered around our journey to success. We covet it.
I do know people who have achieved success under their own definitions of it. Their lives do not always appear perfect to me, but they seem well-satisfied in what they have, and that is the whole point, right? I have a great deal of admiration for those that have achieved success and I look up to them for being able to do so. I look to them for guidance as I work diligently toward the things that I believe will define me as being a success myself – for me, this would mean being financially comfortable if not well-off, happy in my family, my friends, and my career. There are material possessions that I feel I must have, such as my own home, to be considered successful.
I would think that the best way to achieve the success that you want would be to seek out those who have achieved it, so that you can be surrounded by the power of positive suggestion as well as to have a reminder of what you want. It troubles me that all too often, quite the opposite is true: people seek out the person that has achieved their coveted success, not for guidance but to tear that person down. It’s the if-I-can’t-have-this-nobody-can mentality.
According to a recent study, people who use Facebook feel less happy than those who don’t. The reason? According to John Jonides, a University of Michigan cognitive neuroscientist, it’s because people are more likely to compare themselves to others while scrolling through their news feed. While I definitely understand social comparisons, all this data was depressing to me. Sure, when I check Facebook I see a long list of people getting married, having babies, sending kids to first days of school, and even doing things that I wish I myself was doing, like traveling or buying a first home. But seeing these things compels me to first congratulate that person and then seek their advice on how they did it, so that maybe I can get some helpful tips for achieving my own goals. But I’ve talked to friends who have posted milestones on Facebook, only to have others try and tear them down or make them feel unsure in what they’re working toward. Not only is that a pretty good indication to me that the naysayer is NOT a friend and needs to be deleted on Facebook immediately, but it also shows that there’s a mentality in our society that advocates tearing those down that you feel you cannot rise up to meet.
Although it sounds appalling, more likely than not you’ve experienced it firsthand. I know I have, when someone I regarded as a friend took it upon herself to make unsolicited criticisms about my relationship with my boyfriend. She didn’t have any concrete information to validate her opinions, she just tried to tear me down because she could. Although for a long time I tried to just forgive her and move past it, ultimately I admitted to myself that I couldn’t and cut ties with her. I don’t have time to have that kind of negativity in my life. None of us do.
In the wake of this line of thinking, I must add to my list of things that I feel make me personally a success. I hope to be a kind person, one who genuinely shares in the joys of others. I hope that when it’s my turn to experience an achievement, that those I have surrounded myself with will be right there with me to be happy for me.
 

Hello there, little blog. It’s been far too long since I’ve written. For some reason, I’ve had complete writer’s block when it comes to this blog (blogger’s block?). Now summer is drawing to a close and the first whispers of fall are in the air.
The best way to push through writer’s block is to write, so here I am, and I figured I could break the metaphorical ice by writing a little update about the goings-on in my life over the last few weeks.
I Was Bitten By A Cat
My sweet kitty Darwin bit me on the hand repeatedly as I attempted to give him a shot. It wasn’t his fault – I had restrained him and he got scared, and he only bit me because he could not run away from me – but the injury left me unable to use my left hand up until a few days ago. I had to keep my hand in a splint, wrapped with an Ace bandage. I was taking antibiotics that give me terrible headaches and at times make me sick to my stomach. I missed work for nearly a week, spending my days recuperating on the couch.
I was bitten on a Saturday, and didn’t go to urgent care for treatment until Sunday. Please, don’t do this. If you are bitten by an animal and suffer actual puncture wounds, go get checked out right away. Animal bites are nasty things. Left untreated, they can develop dangerous infections. I received a tetanus shot and antibiotics, and even with all that, I still developed an infection in my bite wounds and had to be prescribed a second antibiotic to supplement what I was already taking. I also had to have X-rays – at times, a part of the animal’s tooth can be broken off when they bite, and if you have a tiny piece of tooth embedded in your wound, it will never heal. One of the doctors who treated me told me a scary story about a woman who was bitten on the hand by a cat, and developed a severe infection that required hospitalization. So, even though it might seem like a huge inconvenience to go to urgent care or the Emergency Room for what you think is just a minor wound, go anyway. I’m grateful that a couple of friends of mine urged me to seek medical treatment, because my situation could have been a LOT worse if I’d persisted in trying to tough it out on my own. Bite wounds are no joke.
Thankfully after a week I started to really feel better, and my hand is on the mend. I have had an absolutely wonderful week so far, which may be due in part to my get-well present to myself. Which leads me to my next bit of life news….
I Bought A New Car
Second only to my reputation of being a cat lady is my reputation for trading cars. What can I say? I spend a lot of time in my car, and a new one is always so much fun! This time, I feel that I really treated myself to an indulgence. My latest vehicle is a 2009 Infiniti G37x, a beautiful, sleek car with 330 horsepower and enough technology features that I still haven’t quite figured out what all the buttons do!

In short, this car is AWESOME. I love everything about it. It’s comfortable. It’s a blast to drive. Friends have told me that it suits me, and I quite agree. Yesterday I had a particularly frustrating afternoon, and was in a sour mood. But once I got into my car to head home, I found myself feeling more relaxed and happy.
I Started Fall Semester
Yes, college is back in session, so I am hitting the books. I doubled my course load this semester (doesn’t that sound WAY cooler than saying I’m taking two classes instead of one?), and I’m finding the increased amount of work challenging. I’m grateful for the opportunity to go to school and feel incredibly fortunate that my employer pays for my tuition. But it’s difficult trying to go to school while working full time. Sometimes I get very discouraged, because I am super busy trying to keep up with everything and yet I’m plodding along toward my degree at a snail’s pace. But I’m determined to keep going, even when I get depressed at how long this is taking. I keep reminding myself it’ll be worth it in the end.
So That’s Where I’ve Been…What’s Next?
September is going to be a very busy month for me. Paul’s parents are coming for a visit,  and Paul and my sister have birthdays this month. I’m heading to Vegas for my cousin’s 40th birthday, and I’ll be celebrating my ten-year work anniversary. I’m really excited for all the fun plans we have in the next few weeks!
 
 

Recently, a very close friend of mine was bullied at the gym. She was in a workout class, and the woman behind her insisted that she move aside because “you’re too tall and I can’t see over you”. And of course, having someone twice her age calling attention to her size really bothered my friend. When I found out about it, I was pissed off and could barely keep myself from marching over to that woman and telling her off. I didn’t find out until later that this had been going on for awhile, and it both enraged me and made me sad. When class started, I planted myself smack in the middle of the front row, my friend next to me. The woman urged us to move to the side, whispering over and over “Scoot down, scoot down!”
“No,” I said flatly. “We’re not ‘scooting down’.”
Why is this kind of thing still happening? I felt like I was back in middle school, being ordered to leave a certain lunch table because that was where all the popular girls sat (I was new to the school and had no clue where it was and was not acceptable to sit). I’ll never forget the shame I felt as the cool clique tried to force me to sit on the steps with the only girl less popular than I was, saying to me, “We think you should be friends with her, since nobody likes her either.” Thanks, you little twats. Scarred for life, I commenced eating lunch in the library every day until I made some friends and felt safe eating with the masses again. My only crime was being the new girl, but that single incident set me up for all sorts of teenage insecurities that I could have very well done without.
I was twelve when the lunch incident happened. At twelve, I was certainly not confident enough to tell an entire table of my peers to go fuck themselves. But I’m twenty-nine now, and I won’t put up with being bullied – and I won’t stand by when it happens to my friends, either.
Maybe I was wrong, but I seriously thought things had changed. I’ve seen all these Anti-Bullying campaigns and harsh penalties for kids that pick on their peers., and I thought that it was more or less socially unacceptable to be a jackhole to someone simply because they’re different than you. So I have no idea why the incident at the gym occurred, or how that woman felt that there was nothing wrong with bashing my friend for her height. I don’t understand every time one of my thin friends is told to skip the gym and eat a cheeseburger. I don’t understand why some anonymous person commented on my friend Kate’s blog and asked her whether she was too fat to write a fashion blog. I’m not saying I’m a saint and that I’m never critical of anyone, but I really try to refrain from making ANY judgments based on appearance. And that goes twofold at the gym, where people are coming to improve themselves. The last thing someone needs when they’re trying to make healthy changes is to feel like they’re unwelcome or judged when they go to the gym. I remember when I used to work out at Curves, and there was a woman who must have weighed at least 500 pounds. Every evening when I got to the gym, she was there, doing her workout. I remember how hard it was for her to settle herself at the machines, how she had to go much more slowly than the rest of us. But mostly I remember her because she was there, doing it. She was making an effort to be healthier. I don’t know what in her life caused her to be that heavy, but I do know that I had nothing but admiration for her because she was trying to change things. She could have easily gone and had weight-loss surgery, but she didn’t, she chose instead to go to the gym and do it on her own. She was amazing. If anyone had ever made fun of her or said something cruel to her, I would have been outraged.
To anyone who reads this, I hope nothing like this ever happens to you. I hope no one ever makes an unkind remark to you about your looks, at a gym or anywhere else. If it does happen at the gym, my advice would be to let the instructor know what’s going on. You deserve to be comfortable and to have a good time with your workout. And if it happens out on the street, I would say the best course of action would be to trip the asshole that said something mean to you. Just make sure it looks like an accident.

Since the beginning of the year, I’ve been sporting pretty much the same look: long, blunt-cut blonde hair. Then lately, I just hit a wall with my hair. Maybe it was because I’ve just turned 29 and was ready to start off a new year of my life with a change, or maybe I was just bored, but I decided I needed a hair makeover.
The last time I got my hair cut, I discovered Savvy Hair Studio in Marysville and fell in love with them. At the time I was just in for a trim, but was super impressed by how nice and knowledgeable all the stylists were, how relaxing the vibe was in the salon, and how pretty my hair turned out. Plus, the salon’s owner also owns Vinaccio Coffee in the same lot, and salon patrons are treated to free coffee while they receive their services, and a gift card for half the amount they spend on their salon visit. What’s not to love?
I made a hair appointment for last Sunday, scheduling myself for a cut. I thought it might be nice to get some layering in the front of my hair, especially since my long hair was heavy for summer. I had also been playing with the idea of going back to red hair, but hadn’t made any concrete decisions. Then, as I drove to the salon, I decided I wanted to go for it. Luckily, my stylist Nicole had time, and she expertly colored, cut, and styled my hair into what I thought was perfection!

 
I feel amazing with my new hair! After having a bleachy blonde color for so long, the darker red feels a bit drastic, but not overwhelming. I love how the color matches my skin tone (I’m so pale and freckly, red hair looks very natural!), and I think the red brings out the greener tones in my hazel eyes.
Although most of the makeup colors I wear will work well with either red or blonde hair, I had seen some pictures of actress Lauren Ambrose wearing a peachy-colored lipstick that looked great with her red hair, so I decided to give that color a try. I picked up a Revlon Super Lustrous in Smoked Peach ($6.39 on drugstore.com), and paired it with just a hint of lip gloss. I kept my usual eyeshadow routine (I like a matte brown shadow and brown eyeliner), and I think the look turned out great!
I feel absolutely beautiful with my new look and I definitely feel more confident with it! It’s amazing how much a little thing like a new hairstyle can make me feel so fabulous! For all my Washington friends, if you want to refresh your look or get a whole new style, I definitely urge you to check out Savvy Hair Studio. They will make sure you leave happy and feeling like a million dollars!