A couple of weeks ago, a longtime friend of mine posted a picture of her new ring on Facebook, along with the post “I said yes!” to announce her engagement. I was psyched for her, especially since things have been a little rough for her this year, and was glad to see her finding happiness. I figured what would happen next would be the typical onslaught of posts about dresses, caterers, venues, color schemes, etc. This is what I usually see on Facebook after an engagement is announced.
What I did NOT expect was what happened: she and her now-husband went to the courthouse last weekend and tied the knot. She wore a white sweatshirt that said Bride on the back, they filled out their paperwork, and they had cute little cupcakes on the front steps of the courthouse. When I heard about the whole thing, I expected myself to think along the lines of, Wow, I would never do it that way. Instead, I was surprised to discover that I found her simple approach at her nuptials refreshing.
(Please note, to those of you that had elaborate weddings or even middle-of-the-road weddings, I am not criticizing you or saying you are wrong, so relax.)
Admittedly, there is a part of me that loves the idea of a romantic wedding, with a dress and a cake and a reception. My bank account, however, finds this idea far more hideous than romantic. I’ve watched wedding shows on TV and some of those brides drop more cash on a dress than I pay for an entire year of rent on my house. I could never justify dropping thousands of dollars on an outfit, especially one I will wear once. I admire my friend for bucking tradition, keeping her ceremony simple, and saving herself a lot of money. She clearly got married for the MARRIAGE, not the wedding, and I admire that. In an open note, she wrote: We decided to get married, and YES! I know to all you judgemental people out there who think going to a court and signing a piece of paper isn’t getting married…but it was just what we needed. I’m sure she’s right, that there are people out there who think her choice was crazy. But I think it’s far crazier to blow a year’s worth of rent money on a party that lasts for a few hours. And I’m really proud of her for following her heart and getting married in the way that works for her, not the way that society says she should.
Congrats, Ben and Jamie. I wish you all the best!